It was 2010 and I was a first-time mom to a baby boy. I GAINED weight in the 6 months after he was born. Wait, what?! How is that possible? Aren't we supposed to lose weight with the baby coming out and all? Yeah, not me, apparently. Why?
I was sleeping every second. I'm talking 12+ hours. I was drinking up to 8 shots of espresso to try and stay awake.
I was learning how to raise this little human and knew nothing.
I was depressed and felt this overwhelming sense of having to do everything and do it perfectly. I remember getting tunnel vision when it came to housework. The dread I felt every day was too much.
I didn't have money but, in an attempt to feel better, I invested what I had in a pair of size 18 Gap jeans. They didn't fit.
I became even more depressed and actually thought that it would be best if I were no longer around. I didn't deserve to be a mother or wife. I mean, 6 months after giving birth I was still wearing maternity clothes because nothing I had fit.
Enter hypothyroidism.
My doctor was exactly the person I needed in my life at that very moment. She didn't treat her patients like numbers. She was always late because she spent time with people and built connections. After telling me most people on medication for hypothyroidism are on it for life, I knew I needed to change that. She went over physical movement and healthy habits with me.
I was so depressed and didn't want to lose this battle to the demons. I felt like I had become this worthless waste of space. This baby boy needed his mom. He needed to know who she is; not who she is with this disease. My husband needed his wife back.
This was my WHY.
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